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wanna_be_human2

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hmmm... :) [Apr. 14th, 2006|02:42 pm]
wanna_be_human2
[Current Location |my living room]
[mood |calmcalm]

So it is a beautiful, cloudy day in Las Vegas...got to love it when there is a little shift in the weather. One of my friends texted me and told me he was reading this journal...i really miss writing my thoughts down. I got rid of myspace for a good reason, but sometimes...i just need to come home and write, even if no one is really listening. Well, I am feeling super fat lately...and have started putting a good amount of effort into losing weight. I feel like I am wearing too many layers of clothes, and it makes me really uncomfortable. I havent dated anyone at all in months, guess I lost interest. y cat isnt getting bigger, but he is getting chubby...it is kind of cute. Last night he was wrestling with my stuffed pink platypus...needless to say, i found it hilarious...well i dont know what else to talk about...nothing interesting really going on aside from the usual work/school grind...
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(no subject) [Aug. 10th, 2005|04:37 pm]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |amusedamused]

weeellll...a little update. Yeah, Devin=no mas. WHICH IS FINE BY ME. Dude...he basically wanted to be dating other people while dating and sleeping with me. Ew? can we say, tasteless? not classy by any means? like that is cool if you guys arent hookin' up, but if you are shagging...well, I dont think so...So i let my guy friend read it...then he proofread the email...and the response i got was "wow...ok...lets move on then." ROFL. Classic. I am much classier then that.
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(no subject) [Aug. 10th, 2005|08:32 am]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |depresseddepressed]

So today I leave on vacation, which i absolutely cannot afford at the moment, but, oh well. ive pack a whole suitcase dedicated to food...so hopefully that sustains me for a good amount of time. I am feeling kind of weird right now. I saw Devin again last night and he said some things to me that made me feel like a complete ass. I don't think it was to intentionally hurt my feelings but he kind of touched on a topic that bothered me already. Anyways..long story short my mom had basically told me that i wasn't good enough for him...and it made me wonder if that really wasn't the truth. After he said those things, i basically told him that i wasn't good enough for him...and that i still had no idea why he even asked me out to begin with. I am not sure if i really feel that way. I am just feeling so scared about so many things right now. I am in one of those funks where I am just...so tired...and drained and feeling entirely crappy that i most likely fucked things up with Devin. Right now I am hoping we can at least be friends...I mean, he said that me breaking down didn't bother him, but how could a girl crying be at all pleasant? I am going to go beat myself up some more.
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life the fabulous. [Aug. 7th, 2005|07:53 am]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |cheerfulcheerful]

It is 8 am...not even, like whoa? I am never up this early, but it seems to be happening a lot lately. My mom has her girlfriends in from out of town sleeping in my brother and I's beds, so we are slightly homeless. I came home this morning to my poor little brother crashed out on the couch, no blanket, no pillow...wearing his shoes. So i wandered around the house for an hour cleaning, totally unable to access my bedroom, which sucks, cause i could use a nap right now.

So man..what is up with Cassi? Lots of stuff. I think I lost my trainer, boo. Think he got a job training some famous people (really). So guess I am on my own. However, I don't need him as motivation, really. I started dating someone who is...how do I put this, amazing? A little background info on him...his name is Devin, he is 31, a chiropractor ( I <3 doctors), he is incredibly good looking and sexy...but there are so many things that make him 1000 times cooler then even those things. Like the way we both love helping people, or the way we both decorate in feng shui...or how we both drive economical cars..or how we go out to eat a restaurant and order the same meal without even discussing what we were going to order...the way we both love sleeping on the couch...or maybe the way I have yet to find anything about him that I don't like...maybe, just maybe, amazing isn't even the right word. There is one more thing I adore about this man..he MOTIVATES me to be BETTER. I LOVE THAT. I think even if nothing permanently romantic came out of "us" just knowing him would rock. Maybe some of that well deserved positive karma is finally coming my way.

I move out of my mom's at the end of the month, think i am gonna move into some high rise up by UNLV...not the nicest place in the valley, but the lady who runs it locks it up like fort knox, so it is safe. My mom's boyfriend's friend is going to sell me this goooorgeous living room/dining room set. It is awesome, seriously, the furniture is beautiful. I am very excited.

I leave for the Virgin Islands in tthhrrreeeee days...im so excited. I need a good vacation before school starts.

On the slightly more annoying note...work annoys me...and the people i work with. One of my coworkers cussed me out because he got frazzled with his whole 3 tables and i couldn't help him. whattanass.
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2005|09:37 pm]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |contentcontent]

mmmm...things are kind of like...calm water. Some people really bore me. I have way too much energy.
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(no subject) [Jul. 20th, 2005|08:29 am]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |awakeawake]

heh...he misses me...that just made my day knowing he knows he blew it and will never have me again. Ever.
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Good News [Jul. 19th, 2005|04:54 pm]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |hopefulhopeful]

well, im doing alright today...it is my first day off in two weeks...my total hours of work were no like 90 hours for the past two weeks...i realize that doesnt sound like much to you guys...but...uh i average 60-70..heh..i added like a whole extra work week into my schedule. Saving a lot of money though. my weight dropped from 196 to 184 since i left the man. Speaking of which, like clockwork, he text messaged me asking for my forgiveness. I said no. I wrote him a long ass email...bottomline is..if any of my friends treated me that way i'd tell them to GET LOST. anyways, moving on. SO out of boredom, i've been going on this match.com thing...i went had some iced tea at Starbucks with someone i met off there...nice guy, he didn't realy look me int he eyes though when he talked to me, dont know what that was about??? Kind of refreshing though, he didn't talk about sex at all...WOW. that is the biggest thing for me. I have found out how annoyed i get when a guy is just trying to do nothing but get in your pants. It is kind of gross, plus i still don't feel comfortable with sex yet...it might take a while. Anyways, not sure if he liked me or not...don't really care too much either way though. I feel like I am finally growing up a little.

On a funnier note..some guy wants to be my sugar daddy ::chuckles::

On a good note...some super rich woman my mom's b/f knows wants to get rid of her furniture..i might get my whole new apartment furnished...for free.

Oh and i got a new phone, the Motorolla Razor..mmm...so pretty.
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(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2005|05:26 pm]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |bitchybitchy]

mmm...having a hard couple of days--eh, forget, i'll say it, I am having a hard week PERIOD..my arm hurts pretty bad, people keep bumping into my elbow--I think the bone is bruised. I have decided...i need to get a new job by the end of the year. I just need to start everything fresh...I dropped my phone in water...AGAIN--i wouldnt be suprised if it doesnt work. Aaron is feeding me more of his lies. Today he told me the only women he had been with in 6 years was me and his ex-however, he told me he had a threesome where he had sex with one of the two girls and got head from the other three weeks before me, and lord knows if he cheate don me or not. All of a sudden he has changed his story, saying that he just went home with these girls and they rubbed their boobs on his and touched his penis...PLEASE, you can do better then that! First off, if I was a broad and i was with my girlfriend and we were drunk and took a dood home, i wouldnt just touch his penis, especially for 3 hours...they gave him a handjob for THREE HOURS? so stupid..he thinks i am stupid. And that isn't even a threesome...it's a...really weird night. "hey bonnie, remember when we took that guy home from the double down and gave him a handjob for three hours? haha...geeze. Anyways. Yes, I am not done obsessing over this. I just want the truth. I have to volunteer tonight, and i don't want to. It is pretty boring and i am way tired. I went out last night with people from work--I now remember why i dont go out with people from work--DRAMA. I don't need that. I'm going to stay home from now on.
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(no subject) [Jul. 16th, 2005|02:15 am]
wanna_be_human2
Eh...so it was the end of a slightly aggravating day at work...which was aggravating for a plethura of reasons. I approached one of my managers, the AGM, about serving more night shifts in the bar...at which point i was swiftly shot down. Kind of depressing--I need to get out of this mode where I think everyone thinks I am inadequate. But it is hard, expecially when you work in a place where the only time youve even called in 8 months was because you weere vomiting, you show up on time with your shirt ironed, jeans the perfect shade of fucking navy blue...ugh i dunno, i was frustrated with myself. Then, at the end of the night, i was carrying two very heavy racks of glasses to the front bev station, when some jackasses i work with decided to throw a tray across the kitchen--which ended up going into my arm. I didn't drop the racks, but that shit made me CRY...my elbow was swollen and is now black and blue. What a way to end the night.
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(no subject) [Jul. 14th, 2005|02:54 am]
wanna_be_human2
[mood |awakeawake]

My trainer said i had to write down my fitness goal...I'll write it in here so that the whole world can see...or, er...you guys who read this crap i write :)

I want to lose weight so that I can feel better about myself. I feel like my weight has always made me unhappy, and for the first time in my life, I want to change that. My goal...is not a weight, but a dress size: I would like to be a size 10-12, or look around 130 pounds.

Now that I got that out of the way. I have been feeling really good lately. Been doing to eating better thing, workin' out thing, working a lot and saving money thing...I have even started reading. In fact, I was at Starbucks today enjoying a Passion Tea Lemonade...when this team of Starbucks people gave me a 5 dollar s-bucks card...and i was reading my book outside (um, which by the way is called Why Men Love Bitches....SPECTACULAR book--i think it has answered all my questions as to WHY and WHAT--i'll comment when i am done reading it) they gave me another one...haha...i was like, sweet ass!!! 10 free bucks! oh yeeah, and that little sweet ass thing i just said...i was talking to these Canadians at my table, they were awesome..but they told me in Canada, when something is cool, they say sweet ass...hah! I liked it, so i had to say it...okay well...i have a training session at 9am...and i cant sleep. what is wrong with me!? that is all for now.
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